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Dus Kahaniyaan is due for release on the 7th December 2007. Hectic post-production activity and promotional strategies are in motion. All of us keenly awaiting the release of a collection of 10 short films that have been made with passion, love and conviction. With a corporate responsibility my job requires me to dispassionately ensure that deadlines are met, that promotional strategies are executed on time and that we approach the release without a hitch. As a film-maker it is difficult to be dispassionate. It is difficult to separate passion from business. Perhaps that is why I have the job. To maintain equilibrium. To maintain a balance between the creative process and commercial reality.

Thank God for Safeena, my wife. She helps me maintain my sanity in this insane world. As a global educationist she runs a plethora of experiential learning programs. I am happy to be involved …

Friday, August 03, 2007
4.25 am IST

Directors are an insecure lot. In fact I feel that most of us in the film business suffer from a great sense of insecurity. To some it is the insecurity of sustaining a livelihood. To some it is the insecurity of sustaining fame. To some it is the insecurity of sustaining expectations. To many it is the insecurity of surpassing expectations. To many like me it is the insecurity of being able to make their next film.

I have spent the last five years in near oblivion. A debacle called ‘Yeh Kya Ho Raha Hai’ which seemed like a minor aberration became a major stumbling block. I hated the film. It was a creative low. It was tasteless. It showcased film-making at its worst. I made the film. And I have yet to forgive myself for this debacle.

My new film is nearly ready. We are …

I hate the past. But I still cannot help looking back. Dil Pe Mat Le Yaar is perhaps the most bittersweet experience of my life. A film whose highs and lows began way before it even started.

Sometime in August 1997 music baron Gulshan Kumar was brutally killed by unidentified assailants. There were many unsuccessful attempts on film personalities before this and it was a fearful time. Dreaded gangsters and ‘eminent’ film personalities were named in many conspiracy theories that followed this shocking murder. But who were the guys that finally pulled the trigger? What were their compulsions? What was their motive? These questions kept plaguing me as I tried to visualize the murder.

I think of myself as a voyeur pretending to be a film-maker. I love making films about internal conflict arising out of shocking tales that one reads in newspapers. I love all the agony aunt columns because they …

It was a quiet day at work today. In the dark, cold confines of the edit suite my editor was assembling a scene from my new film ‘Woodstock Villa’. Its quite amazing. Its been ten years since I’ve been making movies. I still marvel at watching the dailies. The process of editing still scares me. All that you have shot takes on a completely new perspective in the quiet, air-conditioned and private edit-suite. You look at what you had conceived and executed in the noisy, chaotic shooting environment in a completely different light (pun intended!). To be honest, editing unnerves me. I decided to let my editor do his job. He did not show any signs of nerves and seemed to be enjoying the rushes.

Solace at such times comes from music. I switched on my laptop, plugged in the earphones and began browsing the playlists. My attention was drawn to …

The last schedule of my new film is fast approaching. The office is like a fish market. I feel like the most important person on earth. The very next instant I feel small and insignificant. I am a bundle of contradictions.

Production staff scurrying around with reams of paperwork. Assistant directors trying to convince production that their requirements are all part of the director’s vision. You cant meddle with vision… Actors flocking the office. Many of whom are friends, many of whom I have worked with in the past. I try to avoid most of them as I am unable to offer them any work in my film. The casting is long over. The film is nearly complete. Yet they remain hopeful. Like me…

I sit back in my cabin isolated, oblivious and afraid. Afraid to face some awkward questions about my ‘vision’. Afraid to be reminded that this …